


Therapy for an Asexual

by Nocticola



Series: Ace/Aro characters [22]
Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Ace writer, Ace!Chloe Turner, Asexual Awareness Week, Canon Asexual Character, F/F, Gen, Mental healthcare, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Pre-Canon, Pre-Episode 54 Telephone #3, Referenced Aphobia, Therapy, panromantic character, pathologization of asexuality mention, post episode 45 Chloe, pre-episode 28
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-01-25 01:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12520088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocticola/pseuds/Nocticola
Summary: Before Chloe Turner can start her therapy for dealing with the angel voices, there is one more thing she needs to make sure of before starting to talk to Dr. Joan Bright.





	1. Pre-Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've just listened to all the episodes about Chloe's sessions. Guess who cried when Frank and Joan started to talk about Chloe's aceness in ep 28? Me.  
> This is set before Chloe's first session in Episode 3.  
> For @kellyshambles on tumblr.
> 
> Written (late) for Asexual Awareness Week 2017 Fandom Challenge Day 3: Asexual characters in games and other media(podcast).

Chloe knows there is something different about her. Because the thing is, angels talk to her. It's almost constant and has really started to affect her ability to function in groups, sometimes even when there are people nearby. She needs help dealing with this. Her mother knows about her problems and she says she knows someone who could help. Dr. Joan Bright.  
Chloe has looked her up online and she seems like she is probably a good therapist, but even though Chloe knows she needs help and that Dr. Bright can probably give her that, there is one more thing she needs to check out about her.

"Hey, mom." Chloe's mom, Vanessa, is sitting by the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the morning paper. She puts down her cup and the paper, giving Chloe her full attention.

"What is it, honey?"

" I know you said you know this Dr. Bright and she could help me with this 'hearing angels' thing, but... Do you know if she is good with non-straight people?"

Her mother looks momentarily taken aback. Of course she knows that Chloe is asexual and panromantic but it's possible she hadn't quite thought of all the implications of that.

Because of her situation, she's been in therapy for a while now and it really hasn't been working. They haven't believed her about her powers, so she hasn't even wanted to mention her orientations. It's not that either of them are a problem for her or her family but sometimes they might come up and she really isn't interested in trying to spend her time defending her aceness or pan-ness or how they make sense to her.

Chloe is just standing still at the kitchen, waiting for her mom to say something. Vanessa gets up from the table and takes the few steps to Chloe and hugs her.

"Oh, honey . I'm sorry, I didn't really consider that. Do you feel like that is something you might need to discuss with Dr. Bright? Or with me?" 

Chloe hugs her mom back. They are still hugging when Chloe replies,  
"Not really. But it is a part of me and I don't think I can really be helped by someone who doesn't understand all aspects of me."

They disentagle from each other and Vanessa brushes Chloe's hair while looking thoughtful.  


"I think Joan should be understanding, and her main focus will be dealing with the voices but... I don't want to ever put you in a situation you are uncomfortable with. Would you be OK if I told her about it before your first session? To make sure you're on the same page?"

"I would feel better about talking with her if I knew. I really wanna get help with the voices because they are starting to affect school but I don't wanna compromise on this."

"OK. I'll call her again. I'll tell her it for backstory reasons and if you ever need to talk about anything related to your pan aceness, you don't have to come out to her again."

"Thanks, mom," Chloe hugs her mom again, who kisses the top of Chloe's head.

"Anything for you, honey." 

"Hopefully she can figure out what the issue is and help me."

"I bet she will. You will finally get the help you need," Vanessa says before she leaves to find her phone.

Chloe sighs happily, feeling very relieved. She gets herself a cup of coffee and enjoys the momentary quietness in her head.


	2. Phone session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just need to rant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set before episode 28, although it kinda overlaps with it, topic wise. Mostly a dialogue format.  
> Contains discussion of acephobia.
> 
> Originally this was supposed to be just a one-shot for Asexual Awareness Week '17, but then this got a subscriber (for whatever reason), and I started to actually listen to The Bright Sessions, and now this has 100 hits (yay!), I was inspired to write this chapter.
> 
> Thank you for all the readers!

"Hello?" 

"Hello, Dr. Bright! It's Chloe. Do you have time for a phone session right now?" 

"Why, yes. I do. What can I do for you Chloe?" 

*sigh* "Well, I think I just need to rant a little bit, if that's OK." 

"Whatever works best for you, Chloe. I'm always here to listen to you." 

"Thanks, Dr. Bright! It's not really... Well, I have been helping out Frank, hanging out with him a lot and stuff, and... well..." 

"It's OK, Chloe. You can be open with me." 

"It just... I'm not sure if it's actually that big of a deal..." 

"It is clearly something that bothers you. You are allowed to also talk of more trivial things with your therapist."

"Well... Some of the people at the studio... they don't really *get* it. Parts of me. I can hear their thoughts, and sometimes they even say milder words to me, and I'm not really sure how to deal with. You'd think they would understand better, understand how you sometimes connect through art, but that's all it is, it's just *argh* so frustrating!" 

"Chloe. Chloe! Please, slow down. I am not sure I completely follow your thought process." 

*Hah* "Sorry, Dr. Bright. It's about me and Frank. They don't understand our relationship. Or my aceness. It's the latter part that seems to mostly be an issue."

"Are they not accepting of your asexuality?"

"I think... I think they don't really get it? I mean, they *say* they do, and they have no problem with me being pan, they just... It's all those toxic notions that women and men can't be friends, can't be platonic. So... sometimes they make comments, about us. And it's annoying. The thoughts are worse. All these assumptions... It's especially erksome, because even *if* I felt like that towards Frank, or he towards me (he's assured me he doesn't), he's... older, and in a very emotionally vunerable state. Nothing would heppen anyway. But *hah*, but because we're a man and a woman, it has to be sexual, right? Or... at least romantic. It isn't... You believe me, right, Dr. Bright?"

"Of course, I do, Chloe. Human relationships are complicated, and sometimes humans' love of binaries really affects how we classify other people's relationships. While I still have some concerns about what you are trying to do with Frank, considering your age and experience, I do believe your intentions are to help him emotionally, not date him."

"Thanks, Dr. Bright. It kinda feels good to hear you say that."

"Any time, Chloe. Is there something else you would like to discuss?" 

"I think I'm good. Just... Just needed to rant. It's sometimes difficult, to hear how much people sometimes think about something you don't really care for. Especially when they don't actually listen to you about it." 

"Does hearing sexual thoughts bother you? We haven't really discussed this topic." 

"It's fine. I'm mostly sex indifferent. I don't think I could really function as well as I do if I was sex repulsed yet bombarded with those types of thoughts all day. I've learned to tone a lot of that stuff out. Those were actually some of the easiest stuff to ignore once I got better at controlling my power."

"That is good to hear. Chloe, my next patient will be here soon. Is there anything else you want to discuss?" 

"Oh! No, this was it, Dr. Bright. Thank you so much. If I have anything else, I'll call you. Or we'll see at my next session. Lucky number 12! Bye!" 

"Goodbye, Chloe."


	3. I'm on Good Terms with all my Exes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post Episode 45

Silence. It's a funny thing. Chloe hasn't had silence in so long.

The nature around her isn't silent. Chloe is not quite sure when she last *really* heard to sounds around her that didn't come from other people. 

There is no one else for miles and miles, and so for once her head isn't full of noise, of thoughts from family and strangers alike. There is still a bit of static in her head when she's near people, but she is getting better at tuning it out. Finding the right frequency for a peace of mind. This is the therapy she needs right now. Solitude. 

***

Chloe was once told that she 'loves love'. It's not really an inaccurate description of her, although it is a whole lot more complicated than that. Being pan and ace is weird combo of all and nothing, all the restrictions and none at all. Attraction is such a weird thing. She understands that being with an ace (and sometimes, the pan-ness does affect things too. Ace- and panphobia is a great combo!*sarcasm*) is not something everyone is OK with. It's a struggle, and she can't claim it doesn't hurt like hell every time, but she understands it. Maybe that's why it's so easy for her to stay in touch and on good terms with all her exes. Not that there is *that* many, she's not even 22 yet. But when she connects, she connects hard. But she still hasn't managed to find someone who hasn't ended up as an ex.

She hopes to maybe relight something with Alex. She's missed her. It's nice to have her near her again. She's not quite there yet with her power, or the lack of it. They've really started talking again since she arrived her, and its been so nice. To have someone who isn't connected to all this Atypical stuff. Maybe she will be normal again, and they can be normal together.

Now that she's spent some time being alone, letting her power do whatever it's doing, coming back or disappearing for good, she's not sure which outcomes she wants. She's starting to feel really conflicted about the information she got through her ability, but she also got so used to it she's not quite sure how to communicate without it.

Well, it's quite useless to wonder about all this before she gets the final verdict on her ability's status. She'll worry about possible adjustments then. Now she'll just enjoy the quiet in her head.


	4. Camping with Alex and Coming Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Episode 54 Telephone #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe: I know, I know, I’m sorry. Alex and I went camping last week and cell service was terrible. 
> 
> Sam: Ooh, camping? That’s kind of romantic. Are you guys getting back together?  
> Chloe: No, no, it wasn’t like that. We’re just friends. It was really nice actually.  
> 

The peace and quiet and lack of people has done wonders for Chloe. Her power is slowly coming back and she is really learning how to have better control of it.

Hanging out with Alex also helps. Sure, they've kept in touch since they broke up and they moved away from each other, but it is still so nice to be able to connect like this in person again. Not being sure whether she wants to hear Alex's thoughts helps her keep her power in check.

They are planning a camping trip which is great because it has been too long since she's done that, and it gives her a great opportunity to really see where she stands with Alex. They've had a great time together but Chloe is not sure whether it's romantic or not. Sometimes Chloe struggles with that, and she's tried her best to not hear Alex's thoughts to find out what she thinks about them. This is something Chloe needs to figure out on her own. Connecting with Alex over a camping trip should really help her with that. 

***

As their camping trip goes on, it becomes clear that they don't have romantic feelings for each other anymore. It's good to get that settled, so they can just relax instead of analyzing each other's every move and word. 

They talk about a lot of things, and before Chloe really even registers it, she realizes she has total control over what she wants to hear and what she doesn't. She lets that be the complete information. Her power is properly back, but she can control it now. She also controls her mouth more, not blurting out everything she hears and responding to that. She listens to what Alex *says*, what she wants to say, instead of any little thing she might think. She's ready to go back. To go home.

After their trip is done, she thanks Alex for everything and she really hopes they will keep in touch like they have been before. Maybe classifying themselves as 'friends' helps with that. She goes back to Mr. Sandoval's farm and tells him she's ready. He's happy for her, and they call her Mom to tell her Chloe's coming back and then Chloe packs up her things. She's start making her way home in the morning.

It's been so long since she felt this peaceful, driving down the highway. She has a good feeling about this. Except for the hunger. She decides to stop by a diner and she calls Sam. She can't wait to tell her the good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll deal with the last two episodes in the final chapter


	5. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe: And then…who knows. I’d honestly love to find a way to do what I did with Frank and his paintings. Help people who aren’t able to paint or sculpt or whatever it is, realize their artistic visions. But I’m not sure what that would look like yet.
> 
> Dr. Bright: I have no doubt that you’ll figure out.
> 
> Chloe: Yeah. I’m optimistic.

Ever since Chloe really took the time to let her mind heal and to really control both her powers and her mouth, her life has gotten a lot better. 

She will never be thankful or forgive Damian for breaking her brain but it wasn't without it's benefits. She learned a lot about herself during her months of quietness and peace and aloness, and for the first time since she started thinking that angels were talking to her to help her make better art, she feels in control of herself.

(She's definitely grateful she is much better a blocking people and their sex thoughts)

Now, when she listens to the sincerity of Agent Green's thoughts, and manages to have an actual two way conversation with Joan, she really feels like she could do this. She can live her life without her power taking over her, ruining relationships with her Atypicalness.

And yet, she still has ways to go. She has all these ideas she wants to explore, on helping others through art and her power, but she's still working on the hows. She doesn't know whether she'll do it through this 'new'  
AM.

And she still has to figure out how she'll ever get the love she desires without having to compromise herself. But she's young. Love can wait.

Chloe leaves Joan's office and she's not quite sure when she'll see her again. But that's OK. Joan and her friends have helped her a lot but it's time to move on a bit. She'll take a road trip to Chicago with her Mom and Frank and who knows what will happen in the future. She's surprisingly alright with that. Optimistic as always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for this fic. I loved listening to The Bright Sessions and I love Chloe and I hope others enjoyed this fic. I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
